Chasing My Tail

So I had a light bulb moment yesterday. I was mowing the yard and consciously focusing on God. Sort of a combination of praying, meditating and avoiding sticks. (Weird combination I know but there you go.)

 I am a fixer. I know I've said before that as long as I have a plan I can handle anything. I don't think the WORD says however that I can do all things through Christ as long as I have a plan! I can get very wrapped up in the process of doing. kind of like a puppy when you first bring him home. He spends countless minutes running in circles, digging holes, chasing the ball, constantly running , moving, doing something. while you are waiting patiently at the side with the food and water bowl, just waiting for him to calm down long enough to notice you! I am like that puppy!  Never stopping while God waits patiently. Then I collapse exhausted at His feet wondering why He isn't acting in my life. I got the distinct impression that God was waiting for me to stop yesterday. Stop and wait patiently for Him to show, teach and do.

I have this tendency to feel like God isn't going to act unless I'm doing something. Reality is Its not about me and what I do. All the scrambling and running and worrying isn't going to change God. I think he is waiting for this puppy to collapse at His feet and say "OK, I'm done" Then when I am worn out from all my scrambling, He acts. All He wants from me is a teachable heart not me trying to fix everything. I think the God of the universe can handle my life much better than I can. I just need to give up and let Him!

Renovation AFTER pictures!!!

So I guess the house is as done as its going to get. There are still odds and ends to take care of, I need to get a used over the stove microwave; put a side on the jacuzzi tub; replace a broken pane of glass; replace a seal on the front edge of the garage that is allowing a tiny bit of water in the basement wall and tile the hearth of the fireplace. But other than those items we can say DONE!! Now my goal is to say SOLD!!! I am going back to the beginning to show the complete transformation.

Living Room BEFORE

Living Room AFTER

Kitchen BEFORE

Kitchen AFTER

Family Room BEFORE

Family Room AFTER

Silence

Today I woke up at 5am unable to go back to sleep. Maybe I could have if I really tried, but Good Friday is on my mind. It's so quiet and dark out now, it makes it easy to picture Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, or the early hours in the morning before His crucifixion. There had to be in all the craziness of the trial and activity, moments of silence like this where it feels like the earth is waiting.

"The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night reveals knowledge."
Psalms 19:1-2 NAS

I picture that quiet before the earth can't contain itself in silence any longer. The waiting for an event that literally changed to world in far greater ways than we can ever imagine. The quiet before pain, blood, suffering, and loss. All because of me, or rather, all because God loves me.
I often wonder what people who aren't Believers think of  Good Friday and then of Easter. Do they really only see the chocolate bunnies and the baskets of eggs? Can't they feel the earths silence? The waiting quiet before that moment of celebration of resurection? To me the silence seems deafening!