Like a darned 80’s sitcom

So Randy and I try to have a date night every Wednesday evening. Please don’t take this as super organization, or as how really good at focusing on our marriage we are, it started as a matter of necessity and we just fell into the habit.

Our kids go to youth on Wednesday evenings and since we live outside of town and have to drive in to drop them off and pick them up. We just stay and usually share a burrito at Chipotle for dinner. Last night we switched it up a bit and went to a pizza place downtown. Yes, I live in a small town now, and yes the picture above is of the downtown area for all my readers who are not K-State savvyJ. It is very picturesque with the limestone city hall, churches, libraries, shops, theaters and restaurants, even a cool art gallery and high class tattoo parlor (yes I have been inside, no I didn’t leave with anything though the idea intrigues me….) The only thing missing are antique stores. I totally don’t get that, but whatever.

ANYWAY! Last night as Randy and I ate at this great pizza place I watched across the street at a locally owned yarn and knitting shop. The lights were on and women were arriving instead of leaving. Not much is busy downtown Manhattan on a cold Wednesday night, so I know it was an event of some kind, maybe a knitting circle or a class. Can you picture it? Cold night, women scurrying to the front door bundled in coats and gloves, carrying knitting bags.  Opening the door and visibly relaxing in the warm shop; hugging friends, settling around the table in the front chatting the whole time. It just looked warm and cozy, totally small town and heartwarming. And there I was on the outside watching this fellowship of women, mingling, interacting, and feeling a little left out. Do NOT misunderstand me. My family would look at me as if I had grown another head if I said I wanted to learn to knit. That is the furthest thing from enjoyment this impatient, clumsy fingered woman could ever picture. But a part of me yearned a little bit just to be included in something that warm, a part of a place. I’m not sure that even makes sense to some people. I don’t honestly know if it would have made sense to me a few years ago. I had a place where I had grown up, made friends, made connections. I knew a lot of people between church, school, family and community.  I had roots with people. Then we picked up and moved here to Manhattan and I found myself alone.

I liked it at first, just putting myself into my husband and kids, making home and not missing crazy schedules. Then it got a little lonely. Not lonely as in alone, I have a great husband and wonderful kids, but lonely as in I missed the fact that I couldn’t pick up the phone and meet a friend for lunch or a soda. Or lonely in the sense that no one knew me, and I had to tell the same story every time I met someone new. From KC, Randy took a job here, kids in school, blah, blah, blah. Sad story I know! Now you’re thinking “What a whiner!!” And I really don’t mean it that way.  I know there are people who start over all the time, moving ton’s more than me and people who are much more alone than me.  I just had an idealized picture of what moving to a small town would be like. Friendly, lots of new Facebook friends, opportunities to know more people, and God really used it to teach me a lesson. Like a darned 80’s sitcom, my life is a lesson, who knew?!

I would meet women and think here is a person I could be friends with! We are so much alike! Only to stand on the outside getting the very clear message that “I have enough friends thank you very much, and I really don’t have the time or desire to invest in someone new.”  OUCH! I think maybe…..perhaps…..possibly…….okay I know I have said those words in my head when meeting someone new in the past. I think I might have even said them out loud to a good friend.  And there it is. I am totally confronted with who I am. Who I have been and it has come back to bite me firmly in the backside.

I know women need relationships with other women. It’s the way God made us. So when we have babies and sick kids and boy troubles and questions about faith and scripture and how to be whatever it is we are striving to be, we have someone with whom to share our burdens.   I know that, but it is still so easy for us to be so wrapped up in our own stuff that we miss people God puts in front of us to grow us. I’m not comparing myself or situation to people who are truly outcast or on the fringe. This was just God giving me a nudge to actually see the women around me who might need a friend or someone to just listen. I don’t think God wastes any moment of our life. It is too fast and fleeting to let whining about what is momentary distract us from what we are supposed to be doing.

Another life lesson learned. Honestly I always though getting older would mean I knew more. What it really means is that the older I get, the more I realize how little I know, and how big my God is.

         "Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul"
                                                                                                              Proverbs 27:9 The Message

Coming Home

Funny thing happened this weekend.................................................

We were back in KC and it was a full weekend with lots of running kids here and there. We had birthday breakfast for all the families October and November birthdays. We worked in my mother-in-laws yard and basement getting things cleaned up for winter. We went to a bonfire at a friends house and ate smores. We got haircuts and had a surprise birthday party for E with some of his friends. (I will post birthday stuff when I have time to download my pictures!) We walked through my sister-in-laws AMAZING remodel .

I was exhausted by the end of the weekend and just found myself wanting to go home. See the significance? It took me a minute :) I thought of Manhattan as home for the first time.

Inside Pictures

 So after much drama, here are the pictures of the inside of the new house. Okay, so not much drama, just procrastination :) There is much to be done to give it the look that I would like. But don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the house as it stands. Its mostly an issue of taste, what I would like in terms of colors and finishes etc.

The chalkboard on the right wall was originally at K-State. When they remodeled the classrooms the former owner got one that they were discarding. Apparently it is attached to the wall so that even Popeye can't get it off. It weighs over 400 lbs. Good thing is that we are planning to remove that wall. It divides the kitchen area and the family room.

This is the family room. The front door is at the front right of this picture. I don't like the way we have it arranged but I don't know how else to do it. That darned wood burning stove is in the most awkward place possible. The wall behind the T.V. is the one I would like to remove.

Like my Rubbermaid blue counter tops? I bought counter top paint, I just haven't gotten it done yet. I'm thinking about painting the cabinets red. Or red on top and black on the bottom.     

Study. Imagine the baby grand where the china cabinet is. It is still in storage.

Master Bedroom(ish) There are two bedrooms on the first floor, but no master bath associated with either one. So we gave Caleb the one next to the bathroom so he gets the noise :) and we took the slightly smaller one. Eventually we will combine the two and make a master suite.

Look how clean it is. "Sigh" It never lasts long. But I promise it will be clean if you will to come see us!!

Moving to Manhattan

You wouldn't recognize me if you saw me. Sadly I look like I've been dragged backwards through a hedge......twice. I would post pictures for your entertainment, but the thought of those out there in the never land of the Internet doesn't bear thinking about!

We are drawing closer to what looks like the end of our time in Kansas City. The movers come on Monday to load up. (When I talked to the moving company the woman commented on how much stuff we had. I kept thinking "You should have seen me 6 months ago!")  We have gotten rid of so much! Most of our belongings are actually still packed. I haven't seen a box of my shoes since October!!

This time really is bittersweet though. Randy and I have lived here for the majority of our lives with friends that are very precious. We are so happy that God has provided a job that Randy loves and has made the path to that job fairly smooth and simple, But the thought of starting over in a new area is a bit daunting. I'm trusting God knows what He is doing. I'm just along for the ride :)

We have a contract on a house in Manhattan. Randy and I went house hunting a couple weeks ago and found three that we loved/disliked. They all had at least one major drawback and we couldn't decide which way to go. Finally we took the kids up last week and told them to decide. One house sold before we got there, which just told us that wasn't in God's plan. The other two were complete opposites. One was almost brand new, 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath, beautiful house with an unfinished basement that had great potential. It was on 3.2 acres in the country with a view of the countryside. It's drawback was the lot. On a corner, house smack dab in the middle with no trees but some scrub cedar.
The other was 20 years old in a valley right in the middle of the Flint Hills tucked in a large lot subdivision on 3 acres. Wooded with open spaces, a big front porch and 4 bedrooms 2 1/2 baths. It's drawback was it's partial basement and Manhattan schools. (largest 6A high-school in the state of Kansas).
We saw the new house first and I could see the disappointment on Em's face. The boys were ambivalent. When we got to the second house all that changed. They all loved it and started fighting over bedrooms. Their excitement was contagious :) After some negotiating, it is ours(ish). Inspections are tomorrow morning.
I will post pictures when we are closer to truly owning it! There is some work that needs to be done and updating (rubbermaid blue counter tops). But the potential is fantastic. God is so good to us.

Please continue to pray for the Bartel's. Many of you know what the past year has been like for us. The thought of some stability and financial security feels a little like a dream. I know we are going where God is planting us, we are just learning to trust and lean on Him. Please pray that the kids transition well into schools and make friends. That we find a great church home. And that our finances allow us to get the house!!