I've Been Thinking..........

I was standing in the kitchen last night staring blankly at my kitchen “renovation” (I use that term very loosely, I think you actually need a budget for a renovation) but that’s going to be a whole ‘nother blog.

Anyway, as I was staring at the floor, Randy asked what I was doing. I said “thinking” His immediate response was “Stop!” He knows me so well. My first step to every disaster starts with those words. So believe me when I say I will understand completely if you close the page J

I know Thanksgiving has a tendency to wake us up from our daily slog through life to see the things for which we are thankful. (Even if it’s only at the Thanksgiving dinner table as we scramble to come up with something to be thankful for before we have to take a turn around the circle) And, since it’s that season, I’ve been thinking about the past few years, and all we have to be thankful for as a family. Honestly there is no way I can even process all that has happened, all that God has provided. Several years ago I remember my oh so impressionable oldest child in a moment of drama, crying over being homeless and living in a box on the side of the road. (all over a not so great class report in third grade mind you.) At the time I remember telling him that we had family and church friends who would never let that happen, and that God would take care of us. Kind of a knee jerk response, not that I thought it was untrue, I just really hadn’t thought about something like that ever being possible. In 2009 when everything started to crumble financially around us, we really did have family and friends step in and act as the hands and feet of God in service to us. “Thankful” seems like a puny word to describe how I feel about them. But I still have to say, I am so thankful for those people who stepped up and helped, loved us, and listened to my whining (on blogs, Facebook, and in person, I am a very prolific whiner)

I am thankful that in the last two years God has provided jobs for us, a home for us and financial options with college tuition for our kids. He has allowed us to start paying off debt left over from the hard times, and given us hope that one day we will be financially stable again. God has shown Himself to be faithful, even though we made stupid decisions, and mistakes, which proves to me that it is so much more about God’s faithfulness than my goodness!!

Don’t misunderstand me however; this has been a rough couple of years and I am not simply saying as I did before, that God took care of us, not really thinking about what that meant. God has taken care of us when things were hard, but not by sending a magic check in the mail to ease our suffering so we could go back to our clueless, status quo existence. God allowed us to go through stuff that wasn’t fun and to be confronted with hard questions about what our purpose here really is. I have gone from the SUV driving suburban stay at home mom who loves Jesus cliché to someone who has experienced the grace of God is so many ways that I am changed by it.

I am thankful for hard times, which is much easier to say on this side of them! I know I am supposed to be thankful in the midst of hardship, and I’m still working on that.

I am thankful that God has used these circumstances and my failures to  force me to depend on Him. Ultimately all I want is to be used by God for His purpose, whatever that looks like in my life.

¹The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
² All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
but the LORD weighs the spirit.
³ Commit your work to the LORD,
and your plans will be established.

                                                                 Proverbs 16:1-3 ESV

Family Camp

I'm having a hard time re-adjusting to normal life this week after being at Clydehurst Christian Ranch last week with friends. Before you turn your nose up at the thought of camping, let me give you something to think about.

1. No cooking for a week

2. No deciding what to cook for a week.

3. Kids running around with their friends like its 1955. Coming for meals when the bell rings and back to the cabin at curfew.

4. Naps everyday if you want.

5. Activities organized by someone other than YOU.

6. Mountain temperatures in the 50's at night and 80's during the day. All with no humidity.

7. A heated pool.

8. Hanging around with friends you don't get to see every day and just talking!

9. Bedtime snacks prepared and provided for you.

10. Time alone with your husband/wife to just be.

Really there are more than 10 good things, but that seems like a great place to start.

Does that change your perspective? I know you still think "You drive how far to get that?!" and yes you're right it is a long trip, but totally worth it. And yes my friends who travel with me, it's not just about the kids and Randy any more. I needed that time this year!

Fun

I love this picture. Slightly out of focus, but it TOTALLY captures the fun! With Caleb ready to head off to college next month, days like this are so much sweeter.

Thanksgiving and Motherhood.

Don't judge my parenting based on the picture above please. It just made me laugh, classic Norman Rockwell!!

Last week at Bible Study we had a social time and in order to get that off the ground, the leader asked what our first job was and what our favorite job has been. My first job, if you don’t count babysitting, was at Cookie Factory at Oak Park Mall. Fun, though I can’t remember the names of anyone I worked with except my boss. It was the question about my favorite job that got me thinking. My favorite job has always been and will always be MOM.  I know there is question as to whether that really qualifies as a job. There is no question about the fact that its work :) but can I count that as a job?

I know that I was so blessed to stay home with my kids as long as I did. It didn’t happen right away, and it came at a cost, but it is the best job ever. I’m a little nostalgic about it now simply because all my kids are teenagers now (yikes!). The days of ear infections with no end and nap time have been traded for teenage drama and drivers licenses (YIKES!)

At this time of Thanksgiving, I just wanted to say how thankful I am for my family. My kids are my heart. They give meaning to my days and fill most of them with joy ;) My husband is my best friend and I am blessed everyday by him.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Teenager

So the last child turned 13 on the 13th of October. We celebrated with a surprise party in KC this last weekend. (I think everyone deserves a surprise party at one point or another in their life) It was fun and E was surprised. He didn't figure it out right until we pulled the car into the parking stall at the park. HA!  Grandma, Caleb and Emma made it happen by showing up at the park early and setting things up. Considering how unorganized I am I'm surprised we pulled it off. Actually he had been to a friend's birthday party the night before and that friend's mom mentioned it without thinking. I'm sure my face would have been picture perfect when she said something about meeting at De Soto park for Ethan's birthday the next afternoon. I fell all over myself stammering and trying to figure out what to say. She recovered nicely and Ethan didn't even pay any attention. I however, was speechless. Too funny.

I can't believe how fast this whole childhood thing went. Surely I'm not old enough to have one teenager let alone three, but I guess time rolls on!

My sweet sixteen year old!

I can hardly believe that sixteen years ago, almost this very minute I was in labor with Caleb. If he were in bed right now I would go wake him up and tell him seeing as he woke me up all those years ago:)But he is just now getting in the shower after having all his friends over for a night time game of hide and seek.

We have had an eventful year together as this was his first year of home school. There were certainly some growing moments (for both of us) but I was saying to Randy tonight while we watched him hang out with a fantastic group of friends. I think it was the best decision we have ever made for him.He has grown into a young man of whom I am very proud. He is smart and funny and above all else he has a heart that is seeking after his Father God. Love you sweetie!

And on a separate note I am going to commit whole hearted to blogging again next week. God has really been doing a great work in our lives. not as easy work, but a great one, and I want to share!!

Night out with Mom

Ethan and I had a night out last night. Randy had some things going on after work and the older two had a youth event at the Plaza, so we went out for dinner and to do a little Christmas shopping. I look at him and wonder where time went. I know its such a cliche to say that, but really! When the kids were little and I felt like I was never going to get to leave the house again, I would have argued when people told me that. (Actually I think maybe I did) I knew in my heart that time would go quickly and one day they would be all grown up, but there were days that it just couldn't come fast enough.

I had such a good time with him. After fajitas at Chilli's we went to Borders and picked out a CD for his teacher. It had to be just right, so we spent a lot of time looking for what we thought might be good, then listening to the demo to check it out. Then more time picking out a gift for his brother and sister. (His idea and money, not mine.) I snuck in a gift for him, then sent him on an errand when it came time to pay. Unfortunately he has gotten too old to fall for that so when we got in the car he asked which book I bought him. When I asked what made him think I actually bought him anything he just smiled and said it was too convenient for me to have sent him to find something when I was paying. I remember the days when I could take the kids to Walmart, buy their presents, and they wouldn't have a clue! He took the remainder of the fajitas for lunch today. It was mostly onions and peppers left, I bet he is going to smell really good after lunch. Thank goodness, for everyone's sake, its a half day!