This year I changed

I was painting the bathroom yesterday, reflecting instead of paying attention to what I was supposed to be doing! (Now I'm thinking a discreet quarter round will look nice between the ceiling and the wall.) I was thinking about what an eventful year this last one has been. I know I'm supposed to have been thinking about that long before now, but things have been a little crazy with the move. I guess I'm running a bit behind!

If I am going to truly believe what I say, that God is using everything I've ever been through to make me who I am supposed to be tomorrow then I need to look at how He has changed me in the last year. This year has been hard. I know I haven't experienced pain like others have. And it is easy to see someone else MUCH worse off than we are. But the hard stuff we have gone through is still hard stuff. Walking this road we have experienced things I never thought I'd experience. Hopefully I've learned compassion and some sensitivity to others going through the same.
This year I learned what it was like to have an empty cupboard and nothing to fill it with.

This year I learned that God is sovereign and doesn't have to explain why.

This year I learned that people disappoint but God never does.

This year I learned what it was like to humble myself and ask for help.

This year I learned what it was like to really feel blessed in the middle of crisis.

This year my concept of church changed.

This year I changed.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so
that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our
lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

More Pictures

Progress has slowed considerably these days. Randy is working hard to finish plans for my sister-in-law's remodel. When those are done he will be back to finish ours! We have moved into the basement and the kids rooms upstairs. I've got a "kinda" kitchen set up in the basement because I don't want to unpack boxes upstairs and load cabinets only to unload them a week later to pull the cabinets out!

Since I can't stand to post pictures of the chaos that is our living space. I am adding some of the property. Again its got lots of potential. Our big outdoor project come spring will be the garden and hopefully fixing the pool, if its fixable. If not I'm going to have the biggest water feature in the neighborhood!

This is the view of the property from the deck. Our property line is in front of the trees you see along the back of the pictures.

This is what I see out the front door. Looking west over the field across the street. I'm hoping for no houses anytime soon. I LOVE the tree in the front yard. I can't stop taking pictures of it:)

This is the picnic table on the deck. Not a property shot, but it shows how much snow we had! Randy had to take the glass out of the screen door so he could put the snow shovel out and clear a path just to open the door.

This is the sad pool. It hasn't had a liner in three years we just hope it can be salvaged. It's so close to the road though that we are going to have to invest in a privacy fence before I will even think about swimming!

And this is the shed. You cant see the fantastic, blacktopped second drive and parking area under all the snow. Just made for parking when all our friends come over.

Progress?

This is the upstairs bathroom. New plumbing of course. Nothing is ever as easy as it seems.

What was once the living room area. Now mostly the staging area for all the work going on in the other rooms.

Notice the bathroom sink next to the wall?!!

Emma's room, which is actually purple, not light blue.

We have been working hard on the house everyday. Well, not Christmas. Christmas we watched movies in the basement and opened presents around the palm tree that doubled as our Christmas tree this year:) Every OTHER day we have worked so hard! I'm really proud of the kids, they have pitched in whole heartedly to get it done. The end is in sight:) Carpet in the upstairs bedrooms tomorrow, yippee!!!

"Before" Pictures

Okay, here are a few of the "before" pictures. The space isn't pretty, but it has potential! I haven't put pictures in of the best part which is the back acreage. I will add pictures of that next time, but its not changing anytime soon. The house will keep us busy for the rest of the winter.

I will update in a couple of days with the work we are doing now.

Front living room. I am standing at the front door.

Kitchen. Basement. It's a walkout. The door is there to the right. The wallpaper you see is a lovely stripe with a howling wolves border.
Master bedroom. Big enough for the bed, which is all we really need I guess!


Main floor bath. What the pictures don't really show is the ick factor. Dirt and mildew. ICK!

Emma's room




The boys room. This is actually 15 feet by 9. It just wasn't a great place to take a picture.

Finally!

Almost five weeks past our scheduled closing. We Finally have a house!

This is the only picture I have right now. But I will be taking lots of before pictures today. I think it will turn out to be a great little place for us.

There are almost 4 acres, with lots of room for the dogs and kids:) The kids are already talking about what animals they want to get, and I'm dreaming of my garden!

Stay tuned for lots of before and after pictures!

Ordinary Life

This morning I asked God” Why?” and He said “Die to self”. Pretty loud and clear, no question in my mind that that was God talking
Die to self in a very real way means giving up what I want. It means giving up me. In this day and age I really struggle with that. Would God ask me to give up my dreams? Wouldn’t He want to enable me to accomplish them? Isn’t He there to ensure my happiness and prosperity? He wants me to”be myself” or have goals and dreams, to reach for the stars and grab all of life that I can…..right? The more I think about it the more I realize that God calls me to fill His goals for me. That cannot be a popular thought for most people seeking fulfillment in Christianity. I am a product of my environment which tells me that all God wants is for me to be happy. I know it could stir controversy to say this but I don’t think that is the case. Die to self. To all my hopes and desires. To give them all up in search of something better than I can imagine. I feel like that is what God is saying to me. Give it all up Dianna, so I can do things for you that you can’t even begin to wish for. Things that make your dreams seem puny and watered down. How do I argue with that? How do I tell God that isn’t what I want? That “I’m happy with my little box of dreams God, don’t mess with them, thank you very much, but please just give me the ordinary life I wish for.”
I can’t do that. I can’t tell God I want my very ordinary life instead of His great one. I choose to die to self so that I can have my very best self.

Do I have a right attitude about suffering?

The next few weeks I'm going to post here what I spoke on at the conference in Salina. It will definitely be an abbreviated version! But it will give you the big picture of what God has been working on in me

When we begin to experience painful things in our lives... When bad things start happening and we begin to stumble and fall in our faith... When we start to lose where God is... When we wonder how to put feet to our faith when we can't find our feet OR our faith... We need to ask ourselves a few questions, remembering that a loss of faith is all about me because God hasn't changed a thing about Himself.

Do we have a right attitude about suffering?

Hebrews 12:7-8 says "Endure hardship as discipline. God is
treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are
not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate
children and not true sons." Verses 11-12"No discipline seems pleasant at the time,
but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace
for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms
and weak knees, make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be
disabled, but rather healed."

Sometimes we go through hard times. Sometimes those hard times have to do with sin in our lives. That is certainly where our minds jump when things go bad. Like Job's friends we wonder what we have done to deserve all this pain and suffering! We think that if we were living "right " then God wouldn't be punishing us this way. (which is a whole separate subject really, and this is going to be a long post so I'll save that one for later!)

Sometimes however, we go through tough things because we are being disciplined. If you look at Hebrews 11 or what is known as the "Hall of Faith" in the verses just before these, we see people who endured terrible tragedy, but in that tragedy and hardship were drawn closer to God. Ultimately it wasn't about them, it was about God.

• I know that if we hadn't gone through what we have the past few months. I wouldn't be who I am now. Hardship has changed me, hopefully for the better. I can choose to live mad at God for what has happened, or I can choose to live victorious in the better person he has made me now.
• Sometimes suffering comes with the territory of being a Christian. I'm not sure where the idea came from that if we are true believers that we won't have problems. It certainly didn't come from the Bible! Every person we read about in scripture suffered in their faith. Not one lived a life of perfect bliss after a decision to follow Jesus. Christianity is hard!
• I don't understand how all of these things work together for the glory of God. I don't understand why really painful things happen to people. I know it is not in God's nature to cause us hurt. But I do know that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own suffering I don't see the big picture. The one God sees. There is where the answer is, in the big picture that only God sees.